Santa Baby
by Alastair
Summary: Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me, I've been an awfully naughty girl, Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight


**Santa Baby**

Nami pouted at the clothes through the windows before looking down at herself in the reflection on the glass. It wasn't that she really wanted those clothes, but it was getting colder - colder than past Christmases - and her coat hadn't been new for five years. It wasn't going to do the job this winter. Never mind her boots which needed replacing as well.

She felt her empty purse before taking a deep breath, and going inside.

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She had a stocking hung up under her window. In the corner on a table was a little fake tree with two presents. The woman herself was lying on the couch, clutching a stolen, faux sable coat. The stolen pair of boots were sitting next to the couch as well.

He sighed, closing one of his eyes as he frowned at her. Luffy had almost been willing to drop a little bit off for her, but the theft this afternoon didn't leave him much of a choice in the matter.

Sighing, he reached into his bag only to stiffen a bit when he heard a sniffle, and he glanced back at her only to frown softly at tears going down her cheeks. His shoulders hunched before he sighed, and they dropped back down. He pulled out a bit of coal, and went to her stocking to put it inside. As he did so, however, the woman stirred behind him, and he spun around while she gasped, and sat up.

"Hey! Who the hell are you!?"

"Aw, crap …!" It was his first year, and already he'd been caught - this did not bode well - and on top of everything, he did not have his father or grandfather's iconic appearances. "Nobody! I ain't doing nothing!" He reached for his bag only to remember he'd left it next to her.

She stood, and shook her fist, "I don't have much to begin with, and here some creep comes along on Christmas Eve of all nights, dressed like that! Like hell I'll believe your bullshit excuse right now, Mister Santa Claus!"

He began to sweat, trying to think, but all he could think about was getting to the sleeping powder in his bag, "I - I really am Santa! I swear! Lemme show you! Just - just get me my bag there."

"Like hell I will!" She kicked it further behind herself, and went to reach for her phone, "You just stay right there, and don't move!"

"Aaagh, no, no, don't call the cops!" He clasped his hands together tightly, "Please! I - I'll … Oh!" Snapping his fingers in realization, he put his finger to his nose, and then nodded, disappearing through the window and up onto the roof where the reindeer were waiting. Grinning, he patted Chopper's head, snickering before he blinked in realization. "Aw, crap, I forgot the bag!" Sighing, he laid his finger against his nose again, and nodded, not surprised to see the flabbergasted woman below. "Come on, Nami, I left you your present already. Gimme my bag back."

Her mouth slowly closed, glancing between him, and her stocking before her whole body seemed to droop a bit. He glanced back, wondering what she was staring at before he winced at the sight of some of the coal having rubbed off onto the white fur of the stocking.

"Right, I get it ..." She stood straighter before she stalked towards him, and he blinked rapidly before he gasped when she pressed up against him. He suddenly noticed that she was wearing only a small slip of a night dress, and her bosom was tightly pressing against his chest. "So … you're not what I expected you to look like, Santa ..."

Flushing dark red, he tried not to look down, but while his head struggled to face up, his eyes kept going right down to her cleavage, "Ah, well … sorry to … disappoint?"

She smiled, and gently ground against him, and he flushed hotter as he felt himself react to the thigh pressing up gently. Nami - that was her name - chuckled deep in her throat, "No, don't be."

Then she kissed him hotly, and he groaned as she reached down to grasp his bulge. He grabbed the windowsill to keep steady while she reached into his pants past the loose belt to start pumping his shaft, "Ah!"

"Not what I expected at all ..." she whispered into his ear, and his throat went dry.

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"You're a whole hour late! You could've blown your entire cover with time like that!" Usopp shook his finger under his nose, and Luffy could only pinken a bit, and look away from his head elf, "You look at me when I'm talking to you! You need to speed up! You did so well during your test runs, what the hell happened tonight!? There couldn't have been that many kids awake. You know when they're sleeping and all that jazz, remember?"

He burned redder, recalling that Nami was eighteen, and at nineteen next year, he didn't have to drop by again. At least for small graces. Luffy said, "Well, I had a real troublemaker, and I couldn't ..." Couldn't stop. Couldn't make her stop. Couldn't bring himself to _think_about making her stop.

Usopp sighed, shaking his head, "We'll just have to keep practicing this year on your hiding skills." Nodding, Luffy quickly turned away, pouting a bit as Usopp said, "And I thought we could beat our dads' first year record too! All because of some brat ..."

Luffy's cheeks burned hot red as he walked away as fast as he could.

Or he tried to until he was stopped by a broad body blocking his path , "Where have you been?"

Wincing, he looked up at his dad, and tried to smile, fully knowing how red he was, "Just … talking to Usopp ..."

Dragon raised an eyebrow, "Oh? And did this chat take a full hour out of your time?"

"I - it's not my fault! She - there was this girl, and - I couldn't - I didn't mean to take so long!"

He frowned, and glanced at someone in the hallway with him, and Luffy paled, "A girl?"

"Gahahaha! Did you already find a Mrs. Claus then, brat!?" Garp nearly pushed Dragon aside to lean out, and look around the hangar bay only to frown, "Hrm? Didn't you bring her along? An hour's plenty of time to make a decision!"

Luffy's eyes widened, staring at him, "Huh!? I - we didn't! Nothing happened!" Diving between them, he ran hard to get away from the two who tried calling after him.

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He stared at the list, blinking at the end of it. Hundreds of thousands of infants were added every year magically. And while tragically, some also dropped off, he was always fascinated by the sight of the list growing longer and longer than ever before. Luffy was getting good at remembering their names and putting them to faces, but at the moment one face and name was stuck in his head.

Nami's name had dropped off entirely, but there on the list, brand new on the list, and having engraved a face into his mind from the list, was a name.

His lips parted, mouthing it slowly first as he felt his cheeks heat slightly in remembrance. Luffy swallowed hard before putting the list down, and running out the door to check the date.

_92 days until Christmas._

He ran faster, searching the large house, "Dad! Gramps!"

"Oi, oi, aren't you supposed to be getting ready?" Garp frowned as he came out of the library, putting his hands on his hips, "There were kids born yesterday, and you need to go over them, so we make sure we have all the baby gifts we need."

"But there's -"

"No buts! You did just fine last year, and I don't know what you've had going through that thick skull of yours since last Christmas, but you've got another thing coming if you think you're going to shirk your duties!"

He shook his head, "It's not like that!"

"Oh? Then are you going to tell us what you did last Christmas? Hm? Finally?"

Luffy willed away his blush, managing to keep it off his cheeks this time, and he said, "It's about the list!"

"Right! Get back to work on it!"

Gritting his teeth, Luffy said, "There's something I need to do outside! I need to go there right now, and tell -"

"There's no way you're going anywhere but back to that list! I don't know what you're thinking, wanting to leave now. There's only ninety-two days 'til Christmas! There's no time for you to go gallivanting off like this."

His heart clenched up, and he ground his teeth in circles as he tried to stare the older Claus down, but he could only look away from his gaze after a short time. After all, he _hadn't_brought her home. This was his fault.

"You know better than this, Luffy. Get back to work, and I'll send someone over with some cocoa for you. That should get you back into sorts. Or maybe some hot cider ..."

Sighing, Luffy turned away, kicking his feet as he went down the hall back to the room where the ever growing list was held.

"Kaiyo ..." And he could see him then. An infant with black hair, sleeping in his mother's arms. She was staring at him in amazement, her soft orange hair held back in a sloppy hairband. Luffy made a fist with his hand, "Kaiyo ..." And the scene continued for him in his head long enough for him to see her kiss his cheek.

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He took a deep breath on the roof. It was a new one, and the neighborhood didn't look much better than the last one she had been in. He concentrated slightly, trying to find a spot to come in before putting his finger to his nose, and nodding.

Luffy popped up next to the same small, fake tree where there were a few more presents than before, and another stocking hanging up besides hers on the windowsill.

The window had iron bars covering it, and he frowned softly at them before nodding to himself finally.

His lips slowly formed into a smile when he saw her on the couch, wearing the same nightie as the year before. On the floor beside her was a little bassinet, and his senses were telling him that they were both fast asleep. He blinked when he saw milk and cookies on the nightstand, and he chuckled as he came over to pick one up. Under the cookies was a note, and he picked it up to read it while he ate:

_Dear Santa,_

_His name is Kaiyo. He pulls my hair, spits up on my shirts, and wets everything I put on him. But I love him so much, so please, give me all his coal._

_Thank you,_  
_Nami_

His eyes softened, gazing at the note, and reading over it again with a smile. Taking a deep breath, he turned at last to look down at Kaiyo, and he smiled wider, kneeling down to reach in and touch his cheek. The baby yawned, but otherwise didn't stir.

Luffy grinned broadly at this, and reached into his sack to put a wooden light blue convertible in his bassinet.

"Mmnh ..."

He stiffened, looking at her, and staring into her eyes as they opened.

Gasping, she shot straight up, clutching at her nightie before she started to say, "He's-"

Luffy covered her lips with his fingers, and her eyes shimmered with tears as he said, "I know."

She squeezed her eyes shut, and the tears came down as she cried, and he pulled her down into his arms, grasping at her chilled frame. "I wanted … I hoped you'd …!"

He hugged her tighter, clenching his teeth as he burrowed his face into her hair, "I know."

"I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't keep any jobs, and then there was just nothing when the baby was showing. There's only so much coming in now. I'm lucky I got this place. I tried …!" She sobbed, "I really tried to be good this year because of the baby, but it's just …"

"Come with me ..."

Luffy frowned softly when Nami didn't answer for the longest time, and then she began to shake slightly, "I don't need … your pity ..."

"I want you to come, Nami. I want you and Kaiyo to come with me ..." his hands clenched into fists in her nightie, "I want to hold my babies … whenever I can ..."

She pulled back, "I'm not some woman that's going to swoon over you, you know!"

Flushing, he said, "Yeah, well, I think you did that to me." She stared up at him, slowly coloring as he said, "I want you to come with me … _Please_, come with me. You're all I can think about. You and the baby … and he needs to come home or who knows what'll happen."

"What do you mean?"

"There's never been a Claus living out here before. Not since ... I can't remember. I don't know what'll happen. Besides, nowadays it's _really_not the place for him."

Her eyes widened, clutching his shoulders, and he sat a little straighter in reaction with a flush, "But he hasn't ..."

"Please, Nami, I want to learn to love you, but I might need to take him ... even if you don't come. He'll stop aging, and people will definitely notice that even if nothing else ever happens."

She stared up at him for the longest time before she said, "Okay."

He blinked, staring at him before he said, "Okay, take him or okay, I'm coming ...?"

Nami chewed her lip before she said, "Say that again …"

Tilting his head in confusion, he thought a moment, "He'll stop aging?"

"No, before that."

"Uh, if you don't come, I'll have to take him with me," he scratched his head. "I mean, he's my heir now. Unless something happens to him, any other kid I have can't do what I can do."

She shook her head, "Not that either."

Luffy blinked, staring at her before he smiled. Taking her hands, he leaned in to press his forehead to hers, "I wanna learn to love you."

Smiling tremulously, she kissed his cheek before she said, "I'll take that."

"Ah, and um ..." he flushed, turning to get into his bag to pull out a small box, "I know this is weird, but you technically can't come unless you agree to something first." he steeled himself then, straightening as he offered the ring to her, "Will you marry me?"

She blinked rapidly at him before looking down at the three round diamonds which were surrounded by emerald marquis leaves. Smiling slowly, Nami giggled, "All right then, I will."

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"Two hours! He's going to get the beating of his life when he gets back!" Garp scowled upward, scanning the skies for the sleigh.

"Luffy's been acting stranger than usual," Dragon said with a frown. Above them, the wind howled, bucking and pitching a fit. In their magical dome, they were safe from the wind although the snow came peacefully through. Dragon pursed his lips slightly before saying, "That is a rather bad looking storm. You don't think he's gone and gotten lost, do you?

Garp scoffed at the sky, and said, "A little wind like this? I'll kill him if that's all it took."

"Incoming Santa! Incoming Santa! 4 o'clock incoming Santa!"

The two of them started heading for the runway, and as the sleigh came down, Garp stormed over, "You have a lot of nerve showing up here! You …!" He stared then, blinking as Luffy stepped out without his giant red coat on. Instead, he saw it engulfing a beautiful woman with flaming orange hair. While Luffy's cheeks, arms, and fingers were bright red from the cold he had just come from, the young woman looked to be in perfect condition - which was, of course, all thanks to the magical red coat.

When his tirade died, Luffy grinned at them, and said, "This is the new Mrs. Claus and-!"

"Luffy!" He froze when Dragon stepped up, frowning up at him, "You think we can forgive a stunt like that while you're slacking off outside? This year, you're going to be working so hard, you won't see your wife until she has a son! With you wondering how she managed to pull it off with you too tired!"

Luffy blushed until a piercing cry struck everyone dumbfounded. Slowly looking toward the woman, Garp and Dragon stared in astonishment as she peeled the red coat open to show the also perfectly warm and comfortable baby underneath.

She smiled, "Oh, look, dear, I have a son."

Beaming, he kissed her cheek before bringing the young woman and infant over to them, "Merry Christmas!"

_fin_

_I wanted to fluff it up this Christmas. I'm finally with my boyfriend this Christmas with a bowl beside me for puking (?), and about to do more nerdy things soon as he's done reading this. Merry Christmas, love.  
_


End file.
